Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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