I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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