youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
