ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Randomize
