Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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