Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
