I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
