living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
