i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
