I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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