the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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