If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
