Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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