Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
