All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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