but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I would ride that face into the sunset
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
