So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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