Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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