why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Randomize
