I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
