She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
