He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
As shirtless as possible
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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