I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
