38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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