Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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