Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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