i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
