i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize