she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
