i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Drake has all the answers
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
