I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
