i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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