This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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