she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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