I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
no you cant smoke seaweed
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
