we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
