Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
