Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
