There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
