If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
