Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
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