Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
