so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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