my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
