dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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