My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
