If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
