They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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