The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
