Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
