I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
