Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
