How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
