Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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