Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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