This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
