that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
