is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
