Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize