pedialite and red bull = repair kit
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
