Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
