The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
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