Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize