The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
