dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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