matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I understand Curling. That high.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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