On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize