I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Someone signed my nipple.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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