You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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