one two three fourrrrnication!
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
