My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
