He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
