Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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