TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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