hotel room ftw
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
